Abide

John 15:4 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you abide in Me.

So it’s been 3 and a half years, I am still chipping away at my general education in obedience to the Lord. Have I ever mentioned in my previous blog posts, that I never wanted to go to college? It’s true! I spent my life going to grade school because it was the norm and as far as I knew, it was expected that I walk it out until the 12th grade. It never really occurred to me until I was a junior in high school and all of my friends were stressing about SAT scores and college application monies..

Neither of my parents went to college following high school, my mother went back to school as an adult and got a degree but even then I was too young to really know what that meant or why she felt she needed to do it.

I graduated high school in 2000 and got a job, after working for a little while I tried some community college and felt completely LOST. It was no surprise to me that college classes were hard because to me high school was hard.

For a long time I sort of beat myself up because of all the confusion, I didn’t know what my friends were talking about when they talked about “midterms”, “quarters” and “majors”. These conversations made me even more confused and even less interested in EVER walking that journey out.

Instead I got a job that paid pretty good and allowed me to live a pretty comfortable life, after the 10 year mark I figured it was my career and I was good with it; (at least that’s what I tried to tell myself)

Little did I know that God had a plan. Jeremiah 29:11 says “For I know that plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”….

Just as Jesus saw the man with the infirmity lying there, He asked him, do you want to be made well? The sick man answered Him, “Sir, I have no man to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up; but while I am coming another one gets in before me, Jesus tells the man, “RISE, take up your bed and walk.” And Immediately the man was made well, took up his bed and walked. Well; I was sitting at my cozy little job when the Lord spoke to my spirit; more like, demanded, me to get up and WALK! He was commissioning me to go to school. It took me leaving work like a drama queen, crying all the way to my car and having a heart to heart with my sister in Christ (Moana) “you know who you are beautiful”

To be honest this whole journey; I have been in total awe as I have abided in His plan and walked it out in faith. Soon after saying yes to God my hours at work shifted, fitting in my school schedule, the provision to pay for the classes, the grace and mercy that it has taken to learn the things I never even retained in grade school. But most of all, how present He has been WITH me during all of this. You see this amazing passage in James chapter 5 goes on to say in verse 25 “most assuredly, I say to you, the hour is coming, and now is, when the dead (me) will hear the voice if the Son of God; and those who hear will live. In the spring of 2015 I picked up my mat and walked!

It has to be faith because let me tell you, walking out what I COULD see, should have discouraged me completely. It felt like the first day of kindergarten, walking in with my sweaty nervous little fingers glued to my mother’s hand and her letting go while echoing in the background, her love and goodbyes..

I took my placements tests and scored miserably, I didn’t understand anything that was being said during orientation, I didn’t hear a word the counselor told me because of how anxious I felt. I was completely reliant on the Lord who I could feel was grounding me and somehow speaking through me, I had no idea what I was doing but I KNEW He was there. For the first few months I would pull up to school, park my car and just gasp out a desperate prayer; “Help me Lord”.

Now all this time later, I am just a handful of credits away from my general education degree and passed the class I most feared (STATISTICS) with an A! (I praise you Abba)

ONLY GOD..

Now my story continues and the fruit is visible as I continue to ABIDE in Jesus. I am so thankful for His purpose in all of this and all of the amazing people I have meet along the way. Be encouraged; you can do all things through Him, the lover of your soul.

 

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