“Father, I pray that she; “be teachable” was what came out of the woman of God as she prayed over my newborn soul back in the spring of 2012. Not too long after that prayer, I being new in Christ stayed really busy finding any way to serve in the church and join in any fellowships or bible studies that were available, when it all seemed to come to and end in 2014. This was because the Spirit of the Lord began to speak to my heart to “come away with Him..” I remember feeling a very strong unction to slow down and (be still) so that I could hear what He was saying. I would stay home on my days off, I’d do a few chores, maybe pull some weeds and water the garden and then just sit a read my word, while seeking the Lord.
When one night I was given a very powerful yet simple symbolic dream.
In the dream I was alone in a classroom. I was sitting in the very center of the classroom and in front of me was a giant chalk board. Suddenly a wind picked up in the front of the classroom and was blowing towards me so forcefully that I had to grip my desk and hold on… What I sensed was that I was going to be learning something at a very, very rapid speed, even my hair was blowing back and blowing straight up in the air. After I woke up and went about my week I kept asking the Lord what that dream was about?
One thing I did notice was that I became even hungrier for Gods word, and my desire to do anything other than consume it was defeating when it came to my 8 to 5 job and home responsibilities. This unrest became unbearable, until one say at the end of fall in 2015, I pulled up to my job of 18 years and began to cry as everything inside of me didn’t want to be there. After praying and asking the Lord to help me through the next 8 hours, I got out of my car, walked in and settled in at my desk. I remember staring off into space several times that morning and then feeling the desire to cry as I continued to press forward, the clock seemed to stand still as I stared at the computer doing my job without any real mental effort as it had become something so mundane and jarring for me. After pressing through till about the noon hour, suddenly, this ball of fire just bursted out of my belly! I stood up, turned off my computer and stormed out of the building, racing to my car (meanwhile pretty sure I’d loose my job) I got in my car and realized the beat of my heart was accelerated beyond a healthy place.
I felt so out of control, yet so close to an amazing peace that I couldn’t make sense of it. I knew I needed prayer, I needed a friend to reason with, so I called a sister in Christ who worked close to where I was and explained to her what I had just done and that I needed prayer. She agreed to meet me so I headed her way a bawling mess.
Her and I went for a drive as I poured my shattered, confused, frustrated heart out all over the place. We ended up at a park and found a place to sit, while I continued on…. she interrupted my blubbering with a question; “Lyssa, if you could be someplace right now (this moment) that would bring you peace, where would that be?” And without hesitation I said, “my garden”…. Then she smiled and said, “thank you Holy Spirit” and she proceeded to tell me that she was enrolling me for school.
Right at that moment, I wanted to yell,
“NO WAY”!, “THAT’S NOT FOR ME!”, “YOUR WRONG”…. Etc… but all that came was total peace, as if a door in the spirit opened up to beautifully fragranced garden and I stepped in…I was suddenly covered with an extraordinary peace and everything in my mind seemed so clear.
The great part about this crazy day was, I didn’t loose my job (haha). The next day I showed up and my boss called me into her office then proceeded to apologize to me for scheduling me to work the previous day because it was over my status?! (((((ONLY GOD))))) I didn’t ask, I just agreed and praised God haha!
As the weeks went on, I wondered how I’d be able to make my classes with my full time status, not to mention how I’d pay for school with my other financial responsibilities. Well (not surprising) the Lord made a way… Some new people were hired and I stepped down a few days, meanwhile I discovered that the union I was in paid for employees who seek to continue their education.
One morning while walking through the college to find my classes before the start of the semester, the Lord spoke to my heart and said, “ this is what I have for you, but you have to be okay when I pull you out!” I stopped walking and stood still looking around as if I was punched in the stomach! ((Ouch)) “you mean to tell me Lord that I am going to do this for so long and I may never even see a degree?”…..
As much as I have wanted some clarity or an answer for this mystery I have known that I have to do this! It has felt like a mission and at times, being at a secular college campus has been a battlefield. However the Lord has shown me little glimpses of why? The students I have come to know, the ways I have been able to pray for them, the deep parts of them that I have been allowed to see with the Fathers eyes and love them with the Fathers heart. There have been so many moments, I have felt like the Lord has had me there for them not for me! I have learned that this journey is NOT about me! It never was and never will be.
At times this educational journey has become really, really difficult, but whenever I have been tempted too quit, the Lord has been like a bolt of lighting to stand in the way of me straying the path, using people and unexpected opportunities to encourage me. Because of this mission I’ve been on, I have often missed out in ladies ministry events, or haven’t been able to serve in certain areas and honestly I have often felt; oh so alone! But how can I stray from the place He has me; His Spirit is where I want to be and where I am at is where I feel Him the most… like the Psalmist sang in Psalm 139: 7 “Where can I go from your spirit? Or where could I flee from your presence”….
Obedience is so hard! Not just because you have to believe in what you cant see, but because the Lord will use your steps of obedience to teach you things you would NEVER learn otherwise! I can honestly say because of this journey, I have learned real boldness, courage, humility and fear. I was asked to pick a major that required YEARS of math and science (which are my weakest subjects) and have watched as the Lord has seen me through! I am certain He did it this way so that I would KNOW, that HE gets all the glory! And that I would give Him all the glory when I get to wherever He is leading me! Obedience is hard because I am tired! I work 32 hours a week (sometimes more) and I go to school, meanwhile try and balance being the mother and wife of three amazing men!
People often question my journey and tell me God wouldn’t want me to be like this but I always laugh and say I’ve been training for this my whole life! After all; “Grace did not save Noah,…Obedience did.”
I don’t know what I’ll do, or where I’ll go, but I know that like in Matthew 10:19, the Lord will give me the words and show me the way. I hope this encourages someone today who can feel and hear the call of God on their lives to “come away”, I needed to write this today as I can feel the Holy Spirit cheering you/us on!
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart