For the last 5 years that I have walked with Jesus, I have journeyed many different stages, In the beginning I walked in total awe and total fear of the unknown. After a while I learned to walk in joy and faith. As I walked with Him, He, as the lamp to my feet directed me where to go. I started this walk with no self-confidence, no idea of who I was or what life was all about. All I knew was that He was so wonderful And I was so not.
By my chin, He lifted my head and began to show me how beautiful he created me to be on the inside. All the gifts that were stagnant and hidden in my depression, shame and guilt. After a while of Him showing me how to forgive, let go and move forward in His spirit; something became very clear to me in my heart; I knew that my life was about to take yet another huge shift. One Spring day in 2015 I realized that the Lord was calling me to return to college. I knew that I needed this to fulfill the plans He had for my life. This terrified me! I was a high school graduate and I was fine with it. But as always the Lord had a different plan. Jeremiah 29:11
I started school and to my amazement I was loving it and doing very well at that. Each night while driving home I would praise God because I knew that He was guiding me and setting things up for His Glory. What I mean is that; I would have these divine appointments with students and share the LOVE of Christ. That alone made all of the hard work and late nights worth it. As the semesters rolled from one to another, I began to get distracted and my focus started to become more of what (I) could do, rather that trusting that the Lord was before me and trusting in what He was doing. Because of this I began to notice that I wasn’t feeling as much joy or peace. I started to pick up fear that I wasn’t going to pass a test or make it in the future when my classes got even more difficult. Another thing I noticed was I stopped listening to His whisper as to the real reason for me being placed where I was that exact day. That explained why school began to feel more like a chore and less like a mission lead by God. Realizing this has been humbling and has aided in helping me straighten my walk again. Yesterday I was talking to a sister in Christ and she reminded me about a scripture I recently read in Ecclesiastes 1:2 “all is vanity”.
Here’s what happened, I painfully realized I slipped into Pride without even knowing it. (ouch) James 4:6 says “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” It’s amazing how we can slip into sin and mute out the spirit who sends warning signals to your way. Charles Spurgeon once said, “A good character is the best tombstone. Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you when forget-me-nots have withered. Carve your name on hearts, not on marble.”
It’s been challenging being a full time mom, full time employee and part time student/tutor. When I was allowing Him to lead it was easy; but when I picked up the yolk myself it began to bury me. What came to me was “what’s the point when it’s all said and done, if it isn’t for His glory?”
“I have seen all the works which have been done under the sun, and behold, all is vanity and striving after wind.” Ecc 1:14.
I was watching the news the other day and they were reporting on a university graduate who won all these awards and earned high honors etc. A week later he had an accident on vacation and passed away. My first thought (as a striving student myself) was; “ what was the point of all the education?” He never got to use the degree he worked so hard for. My heart ached because my second thought was “I want it to count”. I sacrifice a lot of time away from my family and I have little time to rest or be still. I want this time to not be in vain! I want it ALL to count in the end.
I heard Billy Graham once begin his sermon with this, “You know how many minutes are in a day? 1440. You know how many hours there are in a week? 168. It’s interesting to me that rich people cannot buy more hours, scientist cannot invent any more minutes, you can’t even save time to spend it on another day. Do you number your days? Do you realize how important every single day is? Millions are crying, “what can I do?” “what can I do to be saved from the pressures of this life?” “the pressures are just too great!” We have great technologies to save time but we have less time than ever! Tensions in the home, problems at work, health problems, making ends meet. We want to scream at life, we want to escape life. Adlai Stevenson once said “it’s not the days in your life but the life in your days that count!”
Sometimes in the whirl wind of my daily marathon I have to stop and laugh because as J.K. Rowling once said “Time is making fools of us (me) again.” It doesn’t matter if you are a stay at home mom, a full time employee, a full time student or a retiree; what’s important is that you live with intention, make it count. After all “For what shall profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul” Mark 8:36.
My prayer is that as you all celebrate this thanksgiving holiday with your loved ones, you make it count! Lend a helping hand, be a good listener, exercise patience and perspective, play some games, laugh your calories off and live to the fullest because tomorrow is not promised therefore today is all that matters.
Love Lyssa Savedbygrace